This week we continue our exploration of themes from Guided Autobiography, or “GAB” for short. GAB is a reminiscence writing method where you reflect on prompts and write two to three pages on a specific theme. In a GAB workshop, participants share their stories in small, supportive groups led by a trained instructor.

Throughout August, I’m sharing mini-lessons from the GAB curriculum and thematic prompts that Dr. Birren called “Sensitizing Questions.” These prompts are designed to spark reflection and memory recall. They are not meant to all be answered like questions in a survey, but rather, to get you thinking. After reflection, choose just one prompt to write on.

Thanks to the Guided Autobiography world’s generous culture of sharing these writing prompts, I offer this set, originally published by Dr. James Birren in 2001. It was revised in 2021 by the Navigating Differences working group of the Birren Center.

Family: Sensitizing Questions

We have many families: our family of origin, our chosen family of friends and loved ones, plus the people we feel close to through a church, a workplace, or team. Family simply means a group of people who are connected. In this theme, we explore whom you consider as family and their influence on you.

Probing Questions: These questions are designed to help reflect on your life and forgotten memories. They will help get you thinking and are not meant to all be answered. Some questions will bring more thoughts or memories to your mind than others. Write what comes to mind. Choose two pages to share.

1. Who do you consider to be your family?
2. Were you an only child? If not, what was your place in the birth order? How did your birth order or your gender influence expectations on you as a child, and later as an adult?
3. How do the people in your family communicate? How do you handle differences? Did your family have secrets? How did you show or express love? How has this changed over time? How have relationships with family members evolved?
4. Describe a family member who was important in shaping your life; positively, negatively, or both. How and why has this person had an impact on you? Has your perspective changed with time?
5. What is the impact of your cultural heritage on your family life? Has your family moved from one place to another? Have you ever visited your homeland? What connection did you feel there? What stories were you told about places and your ancestors who lived there?
6. What family rituals or traditions have you continued or passed on to the next generation? What have you dropped or changed? Why?
7. How would you describe your family’s values, expectations, and spiritual practices? What were the “shoulds” in your family? How did rewards, punishment, or unspoken rules guide your behavior around eating, cleaning up, and other life functions? Where did these rules come from and who enforced them?
8. Describe a specific event or conflict that made your family stronger or tore it apart.
9. Did you ever compare your family with another? Or perhaps with a family on the screen, in books, magazines, or other media? What do you feel is unusual or different about your family? What is typical?
10. Has your concept of family changed as you aged? If so, how? What elements do you consider when you refer to someone as “family”? How have you created a family in your life today? How does this compare to the family you grew up with?

© 2021 The Birren Center